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Today is the one-year anniversary of my panic attack.� I thought it might be somebodyapos;s birthday, but I donapos;t know the significance of Oct 19th.� I thought I remembered somebody asking me if it was significant, before it happened.� I think the panic attack may have been planned.� If nothing else, Oct 2008 is the approximate 22 year anniversary of the last time I saw Crete "Susan"�McCourtney, the love of my life.

As of today, Iapos;m staying with my mom stepdad at my momapos;s place, condo #7.� This is an uncomfortable situation, since they abused me when I was a kid.� Itapos;s an unstable situation, because my mom is a control freak, and sheapos;s thrown me out before.� Iapos;m thinking maybe I can at least stay here long enough for my scraped elbows blistered toes to heal.

I should find out�the status of�my crazy check by the end of the month.� Iapos;m not optimistic.

The land line number here is sep du sep, ok du unu, ok unu tri naux.� Call me, but be cagey.

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